Being a mom in these parenting streets is HARD! You want to have the perfect home, spacious car(s), a wonderful husband, amazing kids, dream vacations and the bomb job or business. That’s all awesome and it sounds like heaven on earth, but that’s not life. We try to sell the fake life version to our coworkers and to our extended families out of town, but we have a few core people that know the truth. They know your house may be upside down or that you struggle to go to work daily because you really dream of opening your own business. Our tribe knows our struggles and they help us talk through our thoughts. If you don’t have a mommy tribe that can relate to you it’s time to get you one.
Mommy Tribes are LIFE
A tribe according to dictionary.com is: a class or set of persons, especially one with strong common traits or interests. Now don’t get me wrong we all have friends and associates, but a tribe is different. Dictionary.com also states a tribe is: people united by ties of descent from a common ancestor, community of customs and traditions, adherence to the same leaders, etc. it’s a community! You may have a group chat where you guys dish out the day as it is going on, or maybe you have a monthly prayer meeting, or my favorite a monthly brunch date with MIMOSAS! Either way you and those other mommies gather together and come clean. You vent, laugh, and cry together. You hold every person accountable rather it’s to remind them that they said they were going Vegan on the 1st, or that they would be attending church on Sunday, or even if they were going to jump start their business you guys stay on each other. Being able to relate while being transparent and getting motivated afterwards is a wonderful combination! That’s what your Mommy Tribe should consist of:
We as women are secretive and suspicious. It takes a lot to get us to trust and let our guards down. It stems from our grandmother telling us “what happens in this house stays in this house!” Which is a good practice because everybody doesn’t need to know all your business, but you can’t hold everything in. Letting somethings out is healthy! My way of coping has always been through prayer first. Praying and openly talking to God helps relieve stress and sometimes gives you the chance to let out that big ugly cry that we all need. Sometimes I vent to my husband and get his thoughts on things, but he’s not a mom he’s a dad so his struggle is different. Then I go to my tribe. They get it and sometimes they share their similar stories or just remind me its going to be okay. Other times I listen to my girls and voice my opinions, send my prayers (I really pray for my tribe), and push some encouragement their way. It’s a circle. You give and you get. It’s complete.
How to get a tribe?
Making friends as adults is hard. Sometimes you lose childhood friends as you get older and it makes you a little bitter. It makes you scared of being vulnerable again. Or you stick with the same group and do the same things. There’s no growth or real support just gossip and laughter. No deep conversations or meeting of the minds. The lack of sisterhood is evident because they can drink and party with you, but can they pray for you? The time for you to find your tribe is here.
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